the never ending test.

there has to be somebody who has done some type of study on military families. there has to be some explanation (other than the over-used murphy's law) as to why EVERYTHING BREAKS WHEN MY HUSBAND IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!! ahem. excuse me and my little outburst. i know i'm not the only one. it's pretty much a given for any military spouse.

the refrigerator is broken. the food is not cold. the freezer is fine? werid. i don't even know. so, i sent off a million emails to kevin. as if he's not busy working and is just lounging around on the computer waiting for my minute by minute update on "The Refrigerator Situation"...riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

so, i emptied the small fridge in the garage of all the beer (yeah, it's the beer fridge, go figure) and stuffed as much food as i could in there. the thing is...you don't realize until your REFRIGERATOR IS BROKEN, how many condiments and other items you have in there. it would cost a fortune to replace all that crap. so, again i had to call our friends who live across the street to rescue me. this is getting really old. i mean, i'm the first one to ask for help when i need it. i really do. but, i'd rather it not be a joke that EVERYTHING BREAKS WHEN MY HUSBAND IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!! because to me, it's not so funny.

is this some type of test? i constantly feel like i'm being tested. can i handle it? could i handle our long distance relationship from the beginning? i did. could i handle moving away from my family? i did. could i handle finding another job every time we moved? i did. could i handle raising two kids on my own most of the time? i am. can i handle a six month deployment when i know kevin will be in harm's way? i guess i don't have a choice. those are all big things. i can handle the big things, it seems. but, is all this little shit necessary?

in the week right before kevin came home from mississippi after being gone for 9 months: my toilet broke, my back went out and i could not move for 3 days, the computer crashed and something else, i don't remember now. at the beginning of the month my car broke down while he was gone. and now this time it's the refrigerator. oh, and let's not forget that his sister AND his grandfather died while he was gone. wtf? normal, please? oh wait...this is our life. it is NOT normal. maybe that's what all the tests are for? to somehow make me finally realize this. i married a man who wants nothing more than to take care of me and his family. unfortunately, he's not here a lot of the time to do that. so, i will do it for him...and me...and our kids. i expect my wonder woman costume should be arriving in the mail any day now :)