midlife crisis?

have you heard this song????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! try it. tell me you didn't cry...i won't beleive you :)




so, i've always liked country music, but i don't really listen to it anymore. reason one is that the hubs doesn't particularly care for it. reason two is that i typically cry during every third song! and it's kinda difficult to explain to a two year old why you're always crying in the car. i'm a lyrics girl...and this one is a doozie. anyway, back to how i heard it. i've started listening to country music in the car more and more ever since kaia started singing these lyrics to sean kingston's song:

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

yeah. time to change the music up.

and one can only listen to soooooooooo much hullabaloo. don't get me wrong, i love hullabaloo, but you know what i mean. so, country it is. the day i heard this song for the first time, i was reduced to a puddle of tears on the floor of the car. who am i kidding...EVERYTIME i hear this song, i'm a blubbering mess. so, that's how i came to hear this song.

now, the midlife crisis part? i am obsessed with how fast time is passing right now. i can't stop thinking about having another baby (already! what is wrong with me???!!). is this what's known as your biological clock ticking? i never had that before either of my other kids. maybe it's just because i know we're not having any more? who knows. but, i've been waking layla up before i go to bed just to feed her, but she sleeps through the night! i'm doing it just for me! so that i can spend some solo quiet time with her. and stare at her. i feel like i haven't had that opportunity the same way i did with kaia. and this time feels like sand slipping through my hands. i can't make it stop. and i can't stop thinking about that.

some mommy friends and i were recently talking about anger and how to diffuse it in the moment. i swear, i've found the magic potion. start singing the lyrics to this song. seriously. i've been doing it for about a week now and it's marvelous. when kaia has pushed my very last button and the fire starts shooting out of my ears (i kid!), i start singing this song. out loud most of the time, but she's started telling me to stop singing it to her (i guess she doesn't realize i'm singing it to myself...), so sometimes i just hum, or sing to myself. i'm a little crazy like that. and it works!

"you're going to miss this..."

my new make-it-through-another-day anthem. all joking aside, the message of the song is helping me to appreciate each and every day. even when i'm only hanging on by a thread.