mommy rituals

an article in mothering magazine seems to have changed my perspective for good. and it's a great thing. i kept meaning to write about it, to make it more real for my life, but we all know how that goes and time slipped away. and since then, i've found myself slowly slipping back into my previous frame of mind. so, in an effort to stay in the moment and remind myself of what spoke to me in the article...here i am.

the author speaks of having rituals to (at the minimum) begin and end each day. her personal rituals included greeting each morning by stepping outside and taking a deep breath and greeting the sun. in my mind, besides a connection to our mother earth, this is a great "reset" button. no matter the difficulties of the previous day...the greeting serves to remind me that today is a new day, mostly completely independent of the day before. and we can make of it what we want.

her main purpose was to initiate rituals that allowed her to transform one undesirable emotion (overwhelmed frustration) to one of peacefulness. and this is what spoke to me. so often during the day mothers find themselves overwhelmed, frustrated and at the end of their rope. add in a husband that is frequently absent and those feelings all too easily permeate day in and day out. and what kind of way to live is that? that is NOT what i want for my children.

so, my first attempt to incorporate a daily ritual for myself went well...for a few days. and then, as most things do, it fell to the wayside...buried underneath all of the "other" things that need to get done in a day. but, stepping outside in the morning and taking three deep breaths while mentally expressing my thankfulness (for my family, our health, our love) DID help. most enlightening about the author's revelations is that we CAN change our emotional state. and that for me is hard to understand, although i do agree. she states" although i found it liberating to learn that i can actually shift my emotions myself, realizing that it is i who ultimately holds this power also brings a new awareness of personal responsibility (or guilt), and sometimes regret that i didn't shift my emotions sooner." it's all too easy to blame my mood on the events of the day or that kevin's gone again, or that i can't keep up with the housework like i would like, or our financial situation. in reality, it's me who is CHOOSING to feel this way. that's hard to swallow, but also makes me want to change.

and, in the end she concludes that "my mommy rituals give a sense of belonging, love, and meaning to my days, turn chores into celebrations of life, and help me feel more centered and balanced again. within a very short time, i discovered that my self image of 'overwhelmed mom' had shifted. i now felt calm, relaxed, at peace, and happy--a 'nurturing mom'." and omg, who doesn't want THAT?

i realize how simple it all sounds. and it makes me want to smack myself in the forhead (ala v-8 commercials) when i am not able to maintain my own "rituals". so, for accountability's sake, i'll list the ones i would like to implement on a daily basis. to me, these are kind of "bring me back to earth" moments...like a reset button.

i'll start with three daily rituals, and then add more if desired:

1. start the day by greeting the morning
2. take minibreaks (assess where i am emotionally, is it where i want to be?)
3. dance a silly dance

that should be enough to start...and hopefully adding in additonal life changes (eating healthier and exercising more often) will help me to become the mother i would most like to be. not perfect, just present.